Two Lines

Month of Ramadhan, 1432 Hijrah (August 2011)

I was already in KK, semangat kemas rumah with all our stuff, interior decorating and learning how to start cooking simple dishes (thanx to myresipi.com website) for me and hubby to buka puasa. Berangan habis nak jadi housewife mithali while waiting for my masters intake ;) haha. 


Tapiiii.......berpuasa kali ni rase cam letih semacam je, first week of ramadhan, my parents were around, so we went out to buka puasa, i already started eating less, but then again, i didn't eat much then coz diet la kan, sambung dari kes gym-addiction before i quit my job.hehe

in the second week of ramadhan, my parents had flown back to kl, so it was just me at home when hubby went to work so i was supposed to be painting our doors and door frames white (which still haven't been painted till today ;p) and sorting out our stuff. 


I did get a lot of stuff done, but at a rate so slow i was even doubting myself, i mean yela, tiap tahun pun berpuasa, pegi jenjalan g site lagi tak penah plak over malas n penat camni, buat sket rase cam nak baring jap, but i forced myself to cook some dishes for dinner. I had fun doing them, like my favourite stuff, sambal kentang and spinach dishes but bila time nak buka puasa, i couldn't even telan what i had cooked, cam xde selera langsung tengok. Then I read somewhere that memang selalu rase macam tu bila kte yang masak, diri sendiri pun x lalu mkn, so i tot 'oh thats just like me'.



I just felt 'not hungry'. Sahur xlapar, masa puasa xlapar, mase buka pun xlapar. So i tot my headaches was coming from my malnutrition. Hubby pulak xsuka dia je yang kna makan everything so he would constantly be reminding 'nda payahla mau diet2 lagi tu, kurus sudaa'.

Then one day I felt like giving my car some spa treatment at the car wash, so I went out and waited at the car wash till it was our turn, I was standing for about 10 minutes and started feeling dizzy. Penat berdiri kot pasal tghari n puasa kan so I ignored my dizzyness. Then I started to see everything become outlined in black, n my legs started to shake..ok memang nak pitam so cepat2 I found a chair to sit on and breathed away the dizzyness. That nite I told hubby bout the weird pitam moment and he said 'ok esok kte kna pegi klinik check', I was like, adoi, perluke? apa aku nak cakap kat doctor tu 'oh saye rasa nak pitam masa berpuasa', macam alasan je.

Well, despite my reluctance, hubby still came and fetched me the next day during lunch, we went to the Family Clinic in Putatan and met Dr. Sharifah, shes from semenanjung too so i felt comfortable chatting wif her. I went in the treatment room alone while hubby waited outside & read the newspaper. After jotting down my details she asked:-


Dr. Sharifah: jadi awak sakit apa?


Me: Oh, saya just rasa pening nak pitam, xde slera makan and selalu constupated.


Dr. Sharifah: Ooo, dah kahwin ke?


Me: Dah dah


Dr. Sharifah: Ada check pregnancy test?


Me: (muka terkejut coz didn't see that question coming at all!) Oh, tak pernah la pulak. Hahaha (memang betul aku gelak). Tapi memang bukan pasal pregnant ni kot Doc.


Dr. Sharifah: Hmmmm, macamana doc nak terangkan ye. Lepas kita dah kahwin, memang akan ada kemungkinan untuk pregnant tau.


Me: Emm, ye saye tau, errr tapiii....(already shifting uncomfortably in my seat, mcm doc ni nak bagi ceramah 'birds & bees' plak kat sni kan!)


Dr. Sharifah: Symptom2 awak rasa tu are some of the symptoms that women will get in early pregnancy.


Me: Tapi doc, skrg kan saye tngah berpuasa, and plus saya takde pulak muntah2 or anything like that. Saya rasa maybe saye kurang vitamin or nak kena gastric x? (macam aku yang doc rite?)


Dr. Sharifah: Ada miss period x?


Me: Hmm (calculating in my head), bulan july belum lagi dtg la, tapi saya selalu lewat sikit period, especially if ada change in environment or physical activities. Like saya pernah pergi camp OBS for a month seblum kahwin, after coming back sebulan stengah period x dtg. So, seeing as I just moved from KL to KK, saye rasa normal je period saye lambat. (byk alasan aku kan)


Dr. Sharifah: Ooo mcm tu (sporting kan doc ni layan aku). takpe, if thats the case, saye test je dulu for pregnancy coz if pregnant saye tak boleh bagi certain ubat. If ur not pregnant then i'll give u some medication for ur constipation ok?


Me: Ok :) (dgn semangat 100% to prove the doc wrong)


So the nurse told me to give my urine sample and they did the home pregnancy test (HPT) and gave the stick to the doc. I was like, laaaa, ingat amek darah ke apa, baru reliable sket. guna HPT boleh je tendancy to be wrong


Dr.Sharifah: Haaaa, cuba awak tngok.


Me: (Leaning forward. Saw the 2 lines, mula rasa seram sejuk, yet my mouth still blurted out), Apa maksudnye ni doctor?


Dr. Sharifah: Betullah apa saya cakap tadi (senyum lebar doc tu coz dia 'menang' kan). These 2 lines means ur pregnant! congrats! now let's see how many weeks ur at, bla bla blaaaa (aku dah tak dgr dah doctor membebel coz i was thinking 'haaa, serious ke ni? how could that be? omgeeeeee mesti salah!')


After that the doc took out the round chart and asked when my Last Menstrual Period (LMP) was and she told me I was already at 6 weeks. HAA? I haven't even been in KK for a month yet! wow. So the doc chatted on and on about what i shud or shud'nt be eating, what to do next, vitamins i needed (she said I needed to start taking folic asid, usually women take them before even getting married so that they can bear children faster, I guess I skipped that stage then!), and alot more stuff that I couldn't fully digest coz I was still in disbelief.


Last I remember I was going out of the docs room & muka hubby was like asking 'so, syg sakit apa?', and the look on his face made me burst out laughing and I said 'u won't believe it!'. 


Hubby (who was used to my pranks and 'acting') terus cakap 'aaaa, jgn nak mengada2 berlakun ye'. haaa, i didn't say anything! so i just said, 'its ok, syg pegi je amek ubat kat counter nanti'. Sure enuf he went and d nurse said 'ok ini doc bagi folic asid, setiap hari makan satu biji, jaga makan and jgn bg isteri buat kerja berat ye'. Then it was hubby's turn tu be in disbelief and smiling away like a Cheshire cat!

And thats how we found out we were pregnant. But that didn't stop me from believing it was true so we went back and singgah pharmacy and bought out own HPT. I started doing a full google search on the possibility of false HPT results 


Why was it so had for me to accept that I was positive? Its because everything was unplanned for! We have been married and long distance marriage for 9 months. And eventho we did not take contraceptives or other medical methods to avoid pregnancy while we were apart, we did use natural methods coz we wanted to avoid me being pregnant alone while hubby was all the way in sabah. 

So how ironic would it be that once we stopped those 'natural methods' I find out im preggers right away? rasa cam terkejut, takut, xready, confused, ala2 bunting pelamin la jugak coz we were just starting our real lives together as husband & wife. It felt like it was alot to swallow. Mayb some wud think that im ungrateful on how lucky i am, but it was at that initial stage, I had mixed feelings, plus they do say that being pregnant is a roller coaster of emotions, and its soo true. I had never imagined we would get pregnant this soon, bajet nak try for a baby by the end of my final semester for masters which wud be in middle 2012. 


I really felt like Rachel from friends (season 8) when she found out she was pregnant wif Ross's child, "The sperms must have had tools or something" and Ross finds out that condoms are only 97% effective. haha

Tapi of coz kte as manusia hanya mampu merancang, only Allah knows whats best for us and in a way, I can say that since I had to move to KK I have never really been 'alone' kan? :)


My first try at doing the HPT by myself, internet said its best to test in early morning for the most accurate result. So it came out:

Two Lines

after that still tak percaye sepenuhnya lagi, waited a few days and bought the expensive pregnancy test~clearblue, if tak silap pharmacy tu jual RM19.90

Two crossed Lines

last kopek (after a few others), tried testing again just before we went to confirm at the doctor (a few days before our raya flight back to kl)

ok masih Two Lines

jadi, after 2 weeks from our first visit to the family clinic, the Home Pregnancy Tests still came out with 2 lines. We then went to Damai Specialist Hospital to make an appointment with the available O & G doc, Dr. Joseph. This was the last confirmation coz he was gonna do an ultrasound and if xde pape means xde lah kan.


Lo and behold, we saw a little white blob floating in my womb and the doc confirmed we were indeed pregnant :) that weekend hubby took me to buka puasa at Le Meridian and then we were on our flite back to KL for raya (tummy was at 9 weeks).

we told our parents during raya and thats the story of the Two Lines

FaizalAzwin : Aweens Bridezilla Moments

Definition of Bridezilla :

>> The word bridezilla is a merge of the words bride and Godzilla

>> A bridezilla  is a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride. (Wiki)

>> A bride-to-be who, while planning her wedding, becomes exceptionally selfish, greedy, and obnoxious.

>> The tricky thing about bridezillas is that their transition from sweethearts to creatures from hell cannot be foreseen, not even by the future husbands.(Wordspy) 

is Aween a Bridezilla?

1) Time sanding atas pelamin, my eyes (rabun pun nampak ok!) terpaku kat baju ash (my emcee) and i saw dia macam tak pkai badge corsage tu! trus mata aku mencari wina (adik aku yg incharge mende tu) nak tanye apsal ash tak diberi badge! 

trus aku bisik kat haida (pengapitku), "ash tak pkai corsage!!", 

haida dah cam "ish, ada kot tu, jgn fikir dah, senyum!"...

candid aween muka mcm nak bunuh org je kat atas pelamin tu.

haha. i am such a psycho

*turun pelamin lepas tu pegi suh wina
 cari kotak corsage tu and bg ash
(memang nada bossy gila)

2) Masa sanding, makan beradab, berjalan, etc, sentiasa cuit and bisik kat sygku, 
"yang, make sure senyum!"..

3) the nite before nikah was a total of 2 nites aku tak tido at all, my grilfrens/bridesmaids sume duk sound "aween boleh tak pegi berehat jap, pegi tido, ko pengantin kot!", 

aku diam meneruskan isi door gifts nikah dlm bag kertas..then ain sound lagi.."aween, pegi tido jap boleh? aku tngok ko cam letih gila"

air mata aku mula menitis (kata emo), pasal aku tak sanggup tido tngok my girlfrens buat kerja aku sampai dorg sendiri tak tido, nangis berjujuran air mata kat situ ok, then terpaksa dorg pujuk aku (smbil sound jugak, hehe),

"apa tujuan ktorg kat sini if bkn pasal nak tolong ko?" (ok bler tringat rasa nak nangis semula), after that sume malas nk paksa aku tido, dah biasa dgn prangai aku yg emo :D tapi aku tido gak 20minits, seblum haida n wna sampai dgn brekfast McD ktorg

4) pagi nikah kul 7am, duk angkut kain & seterika nak balut meja nikah tu, kna sound dgn ain again

"win, ko pegi mandi skrg! biar aku buat tu!", aku jawab, "takpe2, kejap je"

then trus ain rampas kain tu..hehe, eh ke ini ain yg bridezilla? hahahah

5) Pasal Bunting & Banners, patutnya, sue from Qisdhi  dah cakap dia leh antar the buntings to me on friday morning, but aku nak hari khamis jugak (eventho aku yg bru order brapa hari seblum tu, kira lmbtla kan aku), so aku ckp kt sue aku nak g amek jugak sendri petang khamis tu, nasib baik kt sri rampai je, sanggup meredah jam (psl ada pasar malam) semata2 aku nak jugak gantung malam tu..craziness!

6) mengamuk kat Dzul de'classique tu, okla bukan mengamuk, tapi perli2 dgn nada sarcastic aku and trus buat muka tak puas hati kat situ. tetap nak suh dorg tambahkan balik every-single-manik (i am originally a drama queen anyway, haha)

7) Semua hantaran aku nak gubah sendiri, bukan pasal ape, pasal aku nk control design, jadi aku boleh guna bunga baby blue yang aku dah lamaaaa nak try tu, hehe..jadinya aku yang buat the main design and semua lah, lagipun aku suka yang simple2, kang org lain buat dgn renda2 segala..monyok plak muka aku time nikah tu nanti .heee, but of coz kak fid tolong sambung my initial design 3 of the remaining dulang which mmg cantik gila!!

8) Lepas aku purchase apa2 barang baru yang aku akan jadi obsessed dengan benda tu for at least 4 days (contohnya badge, bunga tuk dulang hantaran, veil, cincin etc). Dalam sehari aku akan belek satu-satu, susun kat lantai, amek gambar, then simpan elok2 dalam kotak, 2 hours after that, bukak kotak, then ulang routine yang sama..heee, thats how puas hati i am with stuff aku beli/buat sendiri, ini bukan bridezilla kan? ini psycho namanye, hehe

(ye sang suami aku pun naik pening tngok, ada satu time tu sebelum bertunang, aku keep on kluarkn cincin tunang tu dri kotak and letak kat jari, satu hari tu terlupa cincin tu still kt jari, memang membebel dah dia tngok aku nye carelessness..ehehehe..)

9) Hafal & masih hafal sapa yang datang and/or tak datang wedding aku, hehe..

masalahnya aku ingat everything, like sapa yang tak datang tapi dah wish or bg hadiah or at least had the curtesy to tell me why they couldn't make it..yang dijemput tapi xde response langsung on why they didn't come or even wish me 'selamat pengantin baru' i admit , sakit hati jugak sket (over -emo, yes i know that too)
 part yang kawan rapat (or aku je yang ingat rapat) yang kata lupa wedding aku tu, tah, aku terasa la jugak, totally salah sendiri, pasal silap categorize kawan,. haha, dlm hidup aku je dorg penting, tapi bukan vice-versa (oh aween ur such a loser!),

and note: yang penting bukan hadiah, its the thought that counts, geddit?..

 10)  Masih tanye kat Jenal what happened during my reception, like "dorg main ke song list aku kat dewan? aku x ingat/dengar", Jenal jawab "main la kot, aku mase tu sebok jaga parking", then I still keep asking him (degil!) and Jenal kna jawab "aween, wedding ko dh lepas kot, biar jelaaaaa"....aween jawab: "yeah, but we didnt do any post mortem, so i still wanna know"..ahhh, aku ni mmg annoying :D

11) Masa kat atas pelamin, sempat lagi bagi arahan on the spot and macam2 lagi yang aku tak hingat. sumpah aku takkan ingat pun if bukan pasal gmbar candid. jeez

12) pernah mengamuk , baling-baling barang dalam bilik and menangis sepuas-puas hati sebab terlampau stress fikir pasal duit, sekali je la i let my non-rational side effect me (lain sangat rasanya when u have to pay for totally everything. be thankful if ur not like us.heh)

13) merajuk & marah sayang 2 days before our solemnization, memang time tu marah teramat sangat memang xle kawal perasaan. it was wednesday nite right after i had finished my final spa session, syg picked me up from my bridal and wallah, he went to get a new haircut while i was at the spa.

dah tau dah dia nak potong rambut but i specifically told him 'jgn pendek sgt' skali aku masuk kreta and tngok, terus marah2 & i even cried ok (over nak mampus bila ingat balik, hehe) so lepas dah marah & syg dh rasa bersalah gila, i kol wina mengadu-damba mcm biase, sampai rumah ada dira, i mengadu kat dira pulak and she pujuk's me saying, 'aween! sgt okla rambut faizal tu! jgn risau, its nice laaa!'

dgr dira ckp macam tu barula rasa cam ok sket, at least org yg bru tngok rambut syg boleh ckp 'its ok' and yeah it actually was ok ;p ....kott..

(still looks too short on the sides but hey, whatever, hahah)

14) there were tonnes of times I would feel like giving up, especially when seeing other b2b's, how pretty they were, how wonderful their prep was.. it made me feel..so un-layak to be a bride, I really believed that I wasn't pretty enuf to be a bride, and I'm still not pretty, but my sis, bestfrens & syg knocked some sense into me before I got cold feet ;p yang penting we love each other. apa yang penting? haruslah kerjasama ;)

15) akan push semua org supaya ikut the timetable that i had made. card kawin mesti kena siap by July! (rule aku buat sendiri) maka aku akan follow-up, sms, call, pesture semua org yang berkenaan supaya siap pada bulan yang aku dah set..mesti, wajib, kena!

16) After wedding reception dah over kat dewan, makcik-makcik cleaner dah datang tuk mengemas, i took off my shoes, sangkut ekor baju pengantin aku over my shoulder and start organize pembawakan balik hadiah ke rumah. Also lari2 angkut barang susun depan pintu tuk menyenangkan my committee tuk angkut masuk dalam kereta. Huu, patutnya ktorg lepas reception terus gerak g photoshoot. tapi aku memang xnk pegi selagi tak pastikan everything settle kat dewan dulu. Hehe, dengan kepenatan aku mintak sapa yang tinggal tolong aku kutip sekali segala sampah sarap & double check semua meja angkut balik all my centerpieces. hasilnya ktorg gerak lmbt g photoshoot & no thanx to jln ampangs' famous traffic jam ktorg tak sempat habiskn shoot 

but everything happens for a reason, ktorg buat another photoshoot in KL 2 months after.

kesimpulannya, maybe a bit of the bridezilla characteristics had seeped into me, but rasanya aku banyak belajar tuk bersabar (itu apa yang aku rasa je, hehe, cant speak on behalf of my frens/family). untung la vendors aku sebab aku dah berubah, if you had dealed with the aween before, lagi nightmare la hidup korg! Most points, I dont think it was me being a bridezilla, but mostly me being my own wedding planner, xde org yang tahu details of the wedding as well as what was in my head :)

the loveliest thing is, even with all my cerewetness, annoyingness, tantrums and breakdowns, the one most important person stayed with me all the way and comforted me even if he was feeling just (if not more) stressed than i was. im so glad we went thru all this together syg :) it just went to prove we make a kick-ass good team & we cant live without each other eyh?

*i swear to god i miss you so much right now (T_T) *

kisah dua weekend lepas & drama melayu

ehehe..last last weekend berlalu macam laju gila k..well bukan nak bercerita detail on our hubbywife dating-laju2-dalam-masa-dua-hari, but highlights nye saje..hehe..

(ok aku masih berhutang entry pasal khemah *sorry lambat kak suria*, & the other stuffs on my wedding *sorry kat yg bertanya and aku yg bz/x sempat nak jawab just cakp 'nnt sy buat entry dlm blog* , which aku tak post2 lagi, ehehe..)..ada tu dlm draft, gambar je la, writeup nye je tak siap2, ehehe..

RAPUNZEL

apparently in the UK its called 'tangled'


its actually different from the original fairytale story that we grew up with, click HERE to read the synopsis of the original version.


last last saturday nite curi masa dgn syg (after our regular facials & shopping) pegi tngok dekat caps square..heeee..suka sgt cter ni, even tho its not the original story, disney made the storyline real interesting & inserted funny characters too..as all fairytales it is of course overall a love story and aku nangis 2 kali kot tngok (emo tak pasal).hahah, xpe nangis dibahu suami (ahahaha, sumpah sewel!)


sapa blum tngok, sila tngok (ye r aku bukan fanatik harry potter so...)

OUTDOOR PHOTOSHOOT

On last last sunday morning pulak ktorg berhias semula macam pengantin, hehe, we did our outdoor photoshoot (again?)..bukan kira buat dua kali, actually masa lepas our wedding reception, we went to do our outdoor photoshoot tapi masa macam x cukup (becoz we were stuck in the traffic jam at Jln Ampang for soo long) thus my OP cadang kte buat again after the wedding, thus being last last weekend.hehe


plan asal ktorg, nak pkai baju sanding, but price nye pulak agak tinggi & I didn't want to waste that amount of money for wedding stuff anymore so we opted to wear our nikah attire (nasib baik sume ktorg punya) and I had my make-up done by Lenny :)


then off we were to Bukit Bintang (pics behind the Scenes from Wna)

DRAMA: DALIL CINTA

hari ahad ke pe aritu, dapatla tngok drama kat tv3, aku dah memang lama gila tak tngok tv (apart from Biggest Loser) jadi agak ketinggalan dalam banyak stories & tv series. hehe


malam lepas balik dr airport hantar syg balik kk, aku tngok la cter 'Dalil Cinta' lakonan Sharifah Amani & Fahrin Ahmad, cter pasal newly wed couple, yang laki dia baik gila manjakan bini dia, then bini dia plak muda, x reti masak segala. ok aku mmg xreti nak summarize dgn lebih menarik lagi jadi baca kat sini, memang lengkap lah! :) --> SYNOPSIS DALIL CINTA


hehe, ok of coz aku nak cter ni pasal aku tngok cter tu kan, aku memang terasa ar aku macam watak Sharifah Amani tu sket..sket la, aku xde la tahap pemalas xreti mengemas ke pe, but, bab memasak tu, heee, memang tak penah la try masak lauk pauk ke pe..uhuhu, dah lepas tngok tu, apelagi call sang hubby and mengadu:-


Aween: 'yang td aku tngok cter kat tv, bini dia tak reti masak, macam aku la pulak, im so sorry yang im not a good wife T_T' (a'ah memang tetiba je kan, drama queen, whut d'ya expect? haha)


Faizal: 'adoi, kenapa pulak ni chan? cter melayu eh? jangan la tngok cter mcm tu, ish!'


Aween: 'tapi...tapi.....'


Faizal: 'ok, apa cter tu ckp? apa yang konon sama dgn chan tu? apa yang buat chan rasa sedih ni?' (suara terpaksa melayan) hehe


Aween: *dgn laju & emo nya aku cerita lah camne laki dia baik, cover tuk bini dia yang tak reti masak, plus laki dia besar tinggi cam hubbyku jugak & gagah bg bini dia piggy back trips (harus selit jugak pujian tuk hubby), then laki dia tpaksa makan mee segera..bla bla bla...*


Faizal: *taking a deep breath sebelum memulakan ceramah bebelan tuk bini dia yg mengada* 


'chan, in the first place, kta ni duk serumah ka? and chan bukan nda tau masak cuma nda selalu buat, memanglah lupa. nanti kta duk sama2 kta blajar la masak sama2 (nampak tak knapa i love him so mucho?), and lagipun, syg la paling pengemas yang aku pnah jumpa, sygla cinta hati aku (ok time ni dah senyum lebar), semua obstacles kta boleh go thru, what we dont know we can learn together....dan seterusnya, jadi pendek kata, chan nda payah la tngok cter drama melayu lagi, if tngok cter melayu je mesti ada je hal nya!' 


Aween: hahaha. ok! love you yang!!!!


mental note to myself: nak blaja masak tuk syg :) ain tunggu aku dtg batu gajah! hehehe ::hebatnya strategy kamu faizal rashid!::

Meluahkan segalanya sebelum memasuki Ramadhan

status otak aku yang menggelegak sekarang ialah..PENING, MARAH, KONFIUS, GERAM, BENGANG, etc, etc (sume yang negative ok)!!!

WHY???

1) Orang negative yang suka condemn me, my plans & terucap dari mulut mereka doa yang tidak baik utk me & my fiance'

> >  you (not meant for singular but plural) have no rite to judge me, someone you barely know in person, dengan kata2 perli/negative, especially when i humbly said:

'im just a budget bride, me & my fiance have saved up over the past 2 years to try and finance for our wedding on our own'

what u say is:

'confirm lepas kawin merana/bankrupt'

> > so guna duit parents pon salah, save duit sendiri pon salah? wtf?? pls, maybe i always seem to be happy-go-lucky all the time, just so you know, i learned that trait long ago..i choose to show what i feel to only the persons worthy..u dont have the slightest idea what i've been through, or how i've struggled to achieve what/to be the person i am today, and FYI, its no help from useless persons like you..

> > then when you ask me questions about my wedding prep (konon macam concern) but when i reply happily on my progress , you continue to condemn me:

'eleh, ada duit boleh la buat macam tu'

> > helloooo, at least aku ada reason knapa aku ada duit! i like work & save the whole reason why its taking us two years baru boleh ready tuk kawin. cuba cermin diri sendiri sebelum mengata aku, unlike you, aku tak terkinja2 time skola berkepit dgn lelaki, blum habis high skool dah kawin, & now ur saying that back to me as if im the wrong one for actually saving my money dgn tak menyusahkan my parents? wth again?

*sori bila ada kata2 negative ni muncul, maka segala kenangan kata2 org lain pon turut tertimbul semula dalam kepala otak aku ni*

> > remember the time, 2 years plus ago..my syg & me were getting ready to go for a Long distance relationship (LDR)..you asked:'

'so lepas ni korg macamana?'

and i answered:

'kitorg contact thru phone & internet lah'

and you said:

'ooo, so confirm clash la ni?'

> > sekali lagi...wth?? ada masalah ke nak cakap dgn baik dgn org sekeliling, its not like your living on this planet alone you know! if xtau nak cakap apa melainkan kata2 sial, aku advise, lebih baik, ko just SHUT UP boleh??

p/s: "you" refers to not only one person, but the individuals that have hurt & hurting my feelings all the time.. (and no, they don't read my blog even tho it would be better if they did)

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> > i think, i betta stop here..im feeling better already..meluahkan yang terpendam (i am a pendemdam)..

> > thus stepping into the blessed month of Ramadhan Al-Kareem, i wish to leave all these negative feelings behind, strengthen my patience, concrete my faith & pray for Allah s.w.t. to give me the strength, the guidance & jauhkan orang2 negative ni from our lives..sedarkan mereka2 akan ketajaman lidah yang berbicara, kemusnahan perbuatan mereka, semoga mereka insaf, begitu juga dengan aku..amin ya rabbal alamin...

> > i still have my sweethearts that make me happy & so lucky to be who & what i am dengan comments2 gini:

"berikan sy peluang utk berbakti kepada aween,plz3x~

Cnah ♥"

"nnt ko kawen aku ikot smp sabah ye.ehehhee.
aku nak naik kuda ngan ain. 

Izzati"

"awinnn comel gile, rasa cam tak sabo 

nak pakai ngan baju bridesmaid aku!!

Mag"

"aween.. i always pray for you from afar..

semoga segala persiapan ur wedding run smoothly.. 

dr sekecil2 perkara sehingga yg major2, 

dipermudahkan setiap satu nye..

haida"

"You kids......makes me feel so...old...and perverted! 

Pojan"

"aween.....x nk bear with u stakat 7 months je ok...

nk selama-lamanya...dh kawen...

pg honeymun..dpt anak...suma la.

Maf"

"win...jgn lupe...9.30 aku kidnap tok kadi....wakakkaka

Ain"

heheeee..u know u kekasihs make my alam maya & reality a real nice place to be in..

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK

(lets lose those extra kilos as well)

Malam yang Malang :(

yet again...another event that has happened a month ago...

this entry is about my accident..remember? the stupid accident that made me cry the whole nite, take an MC off work the next day & cause my friends to worry about me & my baby as I had realized I was an over-exaggerator :0

hehehe..thanx korg for asking how I was..hehehe..tak tercedera langsung pon, just not enuf sleep made me ram into a concrete dustbin..a'ah..see, told u it was a stupid accident..and becoz of that I almost canceled my participation to the Endau road trip we had planned since last year..thank goodness I had Maj to keep me in reality & thank God i have my uncle who is the best mechanic ever!! :) tq Che Tuah..heheheheh..

CHRONICLES OF HOW I HURT MY BABY & 

 HOW THE DOCTOR MADE HER FEEL BETTER 

 

  

 i did this (T_T)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  my uncle at work..guna 2 biji hairdryer je ok!!

 

  

awan my bro cuba menjadi rajin dgn meng'haridryer kan my car :)

 

babyku togel

pemasangan semula muka baby

 

Che Tuah buat porch rumah cam bengkel dah..hebat gila!!!!

my baby still has her scars..can't help but feel a great 

big lump of guilt in my heart for being so reckless :(

ok..THE END..heheh

Confused & Malas

penuh negativity tak my title...memang pon, ade sket emosi negative mengalir in my body this whole week..

do you know the feeling you have when you see an old friend/someone you know but not-so-close/the person that you recognize from school but just used to acknowledge each other with a smile or a nod of the head? (and the list goes on)

to make things short--> malas nak start a conversation...

well i sort of have that bad habit or is it a trait? entah...tapi along those lines lah..after uni years..the aween that used to love talking to strangers & striking up conversations with whoever i meet either on the street or the person sitting next to me on the bus..has totally decreased in the effort of putting a string of words together to even make a simple sentence..iaitu aku telah menjadi malas..malas and i have no explanation behind it..

sometimes i even turn the other direction when i see someone i recognize in front of me (hoping that they haven't seen me yet)..teruk kan? i know that its very much like me trying to avoid people & become so unsocial :D ..i guess im just trying to avoid the awkward small talk..


"oh , u buat apa skrg?"


"bila nak kahwin? oh, dah kawin ke? congrats! tak jemput pun!"


"u kerja katne skrg?"


"you look so different now"


and yada yada yada.....yes..its the small talk im not in the mood to go thru..very teruk habit...im trying to buang this..hahahah..


anyways on a brighter note (noting majies comment that byk sgt negativeness je kt my posts~hehe) , lunch hour tadi ktorg pegi Plaza GM, Chow Kit...eija ada ckp kat aku haritu she bought her door gifts here... and she told me to check out the place too..its a wholesale place so u can buy bundles of stuff for much cheaper prices...before pegi tu i googled it up..ada website ok..hahaha


--->> Plaza GM

me & majjies bought sexy dresses, if buy 3pcs & above satu dress priced at RM35! murah ok..as usual i took black..hahahah..and maj took the other two (1 black & the other purple~cantik!)..sori takde gmbr malas nak amek..nnt aku pkai baru aku amek ek..heheheheh..

so i looked around, but since i still have no idea what to give as my wedding favors..so masih blur lagi la..probably just give out souvenirs from Sabah..like kak aja did at her wedding :)

for brides-to-bees..if ada masa check out juga plaza gm ni ok ;) 

Pensiangan? I dont care..I dont like! (T_T)

aku masih di ofis tapi bukan membuat kerja..but just waiting for the traffic jam to go down..sket pon jadi lah...

Just got off the phone wif my Syg..so hes going for a site visit for four (4) freaking days...to..(read my title) PENSIANGAN..haiyah!!! as im not so good in geography i went and googled maps it up..& memang aku tngok pon tak suka la kan kt tngah2 pedalaman negeri Sabah tu..eeeeeeeee..dah dekat sempadan indonesia tuuuuuuuuuu

so what rite?? its not like i see him everyday , so what would it matter where he is?

HUUUU...IT SOOO MATTERS!

especially after he said that they have to camp over in the freaking hutan belukar, just to survey the land area there to see if its appropriate for housing & town development..without proper highway..no line? no phone signal!

TIDAKKKKKK (T_T)

wehhh..mulalah my ceramah aka bebel la kan...even tho im not officially working with the title of a Quantity Surveyor in my name card..i still think i remember what a QS's jobscope is..ni apa? apa my juru ukur bahan pujaan hati nak gi duduk kt hutan survey tanah segala? ko land surveyor ke? ko topographer ke? bleh ke ko amek sample tanah tu test2 & know if its sesuai utk dibangunkan ke tak?????? 

(maaf aku bkn berkasar bahasa, u guys know that we talk to each other like this rite? heheh..ko- aku , cam lagu aizat "kau aku" yang menang persembahan terbaik AJL aritu. ok interval merepek)

syg, u are a quantity surveyor! ok not a land surveyor, not an urban planner, not a geological engineer...huuuu...not fair , i hate the fact that i can't reach u by a press of my super sony ericsson k850i (dh tak brape super dh jatuh byk kali)~

oklaaaa..fine laaaa..pegila ke pensiangan tu..biarla aku kt kl ni sorg2..(hahahah..abaikan)

p/s: hey, take care out there..damnit i hate this!, blaja buat unggun api ok ;p