our ups and downs

my syg and me cam down sket dis week..mostly becoz i cant control my emotions..and syg is a typical guy that finds it hard trying to understand me...i have trouble myself so i dont blame him at all!! heee

so to pujuk me he sent me some of his cam-whoring in the office..which he learned from me too..heee..just nk show off my faizals beginners cam-whoring pics..so i can laugh at him in the future!! hehe

cutenesskuhis shoes that we went hunting for

my qs idol

hehehe..he made me happy all over again...cant wait to see him again..in the flesh ♥ ♥ ♥

maybe a bit too much

so..its already December...and im thinking i may have made a big mistake today at work..haihh..me and my gossip-searching habits :(

...i sometimes forget that im not surrounded by my clique all the time..and the people i've just gotten to know aren't the same as my buddies who know me in and out...they know that im not purposely searching for gossip to ruin people...or to tell the whole world about what i've found out..

but, no matter how i try to sound innocent...i know its kind of a bad habit to know about other peoples lives...am i intruding their privacy? am i making their lives harder to go thru bcoz of my nosiness?

well...

maybe they may not be affected now..if they dont know bout me n my wartawan-skills..but like my syg says..maybe i should just stay out of their internet lives and keep my mouth shut...i should listen to my syg..bcoz he's always looking out for my sorry-ass...

now im back home in front of my pc ni barulaaaa nk fikir that i don't even know more than half of my audience today..and there i was yapping my head off like a freaking idiot...menyesal pun ada gak..coz even how innocent im trying to defend myself to be today...

people will be people...

and people will twist my words...

and in the end i'll be the one losing out..

3 months of loneliness

it's been three months since i last saw and held the love of my life...mohd. faizal bin abd rashid..and I know with my whole heart that I can't live without him..yeah..im this jiwang nowadays..hahahahah

we've been having an LDR (Long Distance Relationship- i hate it!!) since he went back to his kampung in Papar, Sabah..the last we saw each other (physically) was on the 27th August 2008, after our convocation..i hate to send him away but life is just unfair ;(

he's working there now & im working all the way here in KL but we're always planning for the future and just letting everything go with the flow...i can't be all positive and just say that LDR is ok..i hate it..it sucks big time..even though we talk to each other every single day, i think we talk more than we did when he was in KL..hehehe..its been hard..walking through shopping malls, seeing other couples so happy with each other, doing lots of stuff together..watching movies, window shopping, exercising..everything lah...im jealous..hahahaha..and now i think im becoming more & more paranoid..i can always feel that couples are looking at me and talking about me behind my back..stuff like 'gosh, look at that loser' or 'mesti budak tu takkan rasa happy cam kita'..hehehehe..yeah..im becoming mentally cacat..hahahaha

so how did i get to end up in a relationship with him...dat is one looooong story..longer than he is..hehhehehe..i first met my syg during my 1st year in IIUM..i still remember that we were invited by our seniors to join the committee for the annual bowling tournament our Kulliyyah organized every year..my syg = faizal a.k.a. panjang, was the director for that program so thats how i got to know him..my senior ;)

but we only had a serious relationship last year..after a lot of obstacles..heart break, tears, laughter, fun, upsets, controversy..hehehehe..in the end..we found out we had fell in love with each other..and its a miracle that we actually got together in the end...after i was already on the verge of erasing our relationship from my memory...he is worth every single bit...

i fell in love with my senior..and he fell in love with his pesty bugging junior..hehehehhe..to be continued (maybe la kot..saja nak wat cam drama ending)

end of week summary

dis week i started work at my new company named Permodalan Nasional Berhad (PNB), its located next to the tabung haji building, jln tun razak. As I was taken in as 'eksekutif pelatih' or management trainee, my first week wasn't at all a desk job...i had a week of inductions, seminars, quizzes & assignments. first week ni okla kot coz mostly about the company and intro to its core business..but dis november is packed with investments, finance, maths lectures!! all of which I don't have the basics of!!! CUBAAN...hahahah

my co-workers or really my 'classmates' are a real bunch of fun people..there are in total 19 of us..5 are PNB scholars (overseas grads) & the other 14 of us are local fresh grads (all from really3 diverse backgrounds..from bio-industry, electro-mechanical, marketing, law to quantity surveying)..we all feel like beginners.. best thing is that we clicked right on the first day we met. Since its been 5 days we have adapted a 'rotation system' of ourselves..everyday we sit next to someone different..its a really good move for us to know each other and I feel really lucky to have got the chance to get to know these people :)

im excited to see what the following weeks will bring..im happy, despite the competitive and learning-based environment, so i've decided to suck all my courage up and soak all that they have to give me..i have my ultimate motivator..Mohd Faizal..thanx syg for being my strength...

my life as of now

i've been wanting to update my blog for ages..but every time im in front of my pc i go wondering off to other blogs and updating my self on their current posts until when i finally get back to my page, my eyes are tired and i end up feeling that im not in the mood to write anymore..hehe

today is d first day of the month..so im just making that a reason to start where i left off..a LOT has happened this year..what wif my final sem, agonizing thesis, langkawi trip, part time jobs, weddings engagements (all of which are not mine..hehe), having to live with a LDR (im making it sound like a disease), graduating, surprising awards, airports..a lot..a lot...

so just for my sake and the persons who wish to have a glance at my kinda boring life, ive decided to recall these events here..so i don't forget..and for sayang too..for him to sleep while reading my words..haha..

starting again

yeah, so here i am at 4.45am in the morning..having trouble sleeping coz i had too much napping in the day..gave up on waiting for bLooM of aLfeA from UK to pop up on my ym screen (regular gossip session), had enuf of adding applications to facebook and finding no reason to be checking through my emails anymore..i came back to my long deserted zephyred_JUNK

truthfully, i forgot i made a blog..but after frequently being pressured to read a certain residence blog i thought i should get back to pouring out unread stuff about my life..seeing that soon i'd be leading a rather empty and sepi life in kl after dis..why the hell not eh